04.08.26
the thing about writing on my computer is that i can be in the dark. when i write, i have to turn my lamp on. though there is something to be said about journaling. writing down my thoughts forces me to process them. word by word i must digest my emotions, in order to let them go. when i write i feel something different, but similar. the words tend to pour from my hands. sometimes i have nothing to say. and i find it difficult to do anything creative. other times i feel get ansty. i am restless with what i want to let out. sometimes i am to make art. i am able to make music and draw and paint, im able to imagine. sometimes the world shuts off. and everything is as it is. and i see it all so clearly. and sometimes its all a blur. each day simutenaously. fuck i cant spell simutaneously. wait did i do it? id ont know. but the day drags on and i am also very aware how well i can let it get away from me. its always too late and too early. never on time. i have never once looked at a clock and felt peace. i used to wonder how everyone dealt with it. those zings of panick you feel all day long. feeling like you're doing too much and not enough and theres never enough time and youre already way too fucking late and you need to try harder and youre also trying your best and your. i feel like gabbie hanna bruh.
04.03.26
eat me up and spit me out.
03.25.26
nobody wants to dance in clubs anymore! no one wants to fight drunkenly in the streets (with love)!
no one wants to change the future. no one wants to start a new. no one wants the sun to rise and no one wants the sun to set.
whatever shall we do?
03.04.26
GIRL WHATEVER ! every action is embarrassing.
03.03.26
i used to be disgusted by the human body. by guts blood and sickness. but its strange how fascinating i find it now.
i often wish someone understood by need to crawl into another body. to be so in love the devotion is religious in its nature.
03.02.26
i feel like i have everything to say and also nothing to say at all